Taking time to learn your every inch. Wasted my time wanting after you. Say what you want to say. But you say nothing, nothing at all. Feel what you want to feel. But you feel nothing, nothing at all.

Faking. Is this a game for you.
Hating. Most of the things you do.
Leaving, I've given up, on giving you my heart.

This is shattered. Sharp edges caressing my lungs. I can not breath with this pressure on my shoulders. I'm letting go. I've given up on wanting after you. And just for you. I'll hope you'll understand, that i resent you. But i forgive you. For taking what you wanted, and leaving me here stranded. With this shattered heart, daunting aspirations.

Give you my whole heart, its not what you sought.
I need reciprocation more than i thought.
Fickle in your mind, impossible to read.
Don't give me your body if desire isn't there.

Its easier to keep my mind boxed up than it is to mourn myself. The worst part would be over quickly. But at least with these thoughts kept safe, all they can do is rattle the cage. Under lock and key, theres no possible way of escape. I doubt I'm prepared for a disaster of that scale. Just keeping them safe is hard enough. Thoughts, just thoughts.

The response time, for the emotional disaster, my melt down. What is a reasonable time frame for response. And who would respond. If all of these tormenting ideas have been kept so neatly boxed for so long, who's to know anything changed. Who will recognize what I'm wearing on my sleeve. Who has the sort of attention span. People, just people.

Bottoms up. Here's to life.

I visit the shores some times.
Its nice to visit with someone i can relate to.
The sand is warm and welcoming.
Much like my smile, and open arms.
I put on good grace, and cherish each moment.
But the undertide will wash that smile away.
Just as many men have drowned,
Many hearts have been broken.

Some times i feel like the ocean.
Stuck in my ways, not much is changing.
The tide may come high, may come low.
My thoughts may vary the same way.

She sat still, amongst the crowd. Parallel to the lines in the sidewalk. She could have been sited from miles away. Hair that curled like a treble clef. Colored brighter than the greatest concerto. Eyes that could shoot you down faster than Vassili Zaitsev.

But had i known. Had i known that this wasn't just the right place at the right time. But had i known that this was the perfect place, and the only time.

And she was in love.

I had caught glimpse of her, before she caught mine. I had forgotten how to step. The grassy courtyard became a difficult terrain to navigate. Blind, i continued. Heart race.

As if from muscle memory, a climber reaching for a ledge to save themselves from falling hundreds of yards. As if she has known me for ever. Her hand grasped my wrist. Eyes locked.

And we're in love

Glass eyes piercing my own. Lips frowned, shapely and bright, as if they where stolen right from Marilyn Monroe's face. Her words weak, trembled as she sung them.

"I love you."